A BlogWarming Post & A (Potentially Humiliating) Pledge

Only 5Xmom could pull off such a unique, probably the first of its kind stunt - a blog warming!! Interesting no?

Since I am free to write about anything under the sun, I thought I’d share this very sarcastically funny article (NOT to be taken literally of course!) that has been circulating via email which is a rather tongue in cheek poke at what I’m about to pledge to do at the end of this post!

HEALTH TIPS FROM A FAMOUS DOCTOR (NAME UNDISCLOSED)

HEALTH - QUESTION & ANSWER SESSION

Q: I’ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that’s it… Don’t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that’s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can’t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain…Good!

Q: Aren’t fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU’RE NOT LISTENING!!! . Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they’re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO . Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It’s the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:
“Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming : “Woo Hoo, what a ride! ”
Cheers Mates.

Don’t you just love that? But of course everyone knows that the bottom line to losing weight and maintaining a healthy body is through a proper diet (which does not mean starving yourself!) and regular exercise. Its just very much easier said than done!

Now if you’ve read a previous entry in my blog, you’d know that my ego has taken a bashing and that I’ve vowed to do something about it. Even more motivation now that I’ve got a dance performance coming up on August 17 (belly dancing somemore okay??!) And since everyone seems to be getting married, having blog warmings and doing something special and unique today (7/7/07 being a special date and all)… I will jump on the band wagon also…and hereby today pledge to post up a pic of me in my belly dance costume in my blog on August 17! There will be a pic of me no matter how I look on August 17…so…oh my god oh my god oh my god…I really really REALLY have to lose the weight or suffer public humiliation to the max!!!! *faints*

OK…i’m gonna hit the ‘post’ button now and hope I don’t wake up tmrw and bang myself on the head!

By Lingzie of TummyTreats